This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.

I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.

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ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.

Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.

Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.

You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.

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